When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, what if you don't want to make the lemonade? Everyone has problems, sometimes they spring up out of no where, or in my case, drip from the ceiling out of no where. My problem didn't actually drip out of no where, it began in 2009. Instead of replacing the leaking air conditioning unit that was poorly installed during the 1995 construction of our home (my husband bought it in 2002), we decided to bandage it up, a quick-fix. You know what band-aides do eventually? They fall off. After numerous band-aide replacements, we had to bite the bullet and replace our air conditioning unit. 

Of course we shopped around. After having multiple people come in to look at it,  some  never returned our follow-up calls, even a "family friend" (I use this phrase lightly).  We finally found a company who decided to take on the challenge. 

I better enjoy this new air conditioner, because this is my vacation for next year.  

What did I learn about this entire experience? Well, as so many of you know I love makeup, movies, travel, books, shoes, clothes, electronics and handbags, but even with occasional "shopping spree" I am quite the "little saver". I'm not stressing about this home renovation project. I just want to get it done!

I also learned not to rely on the "cheap" band-aide fixes because those will just lead to a bigger, more expensive problem in the future.  

My husband, the funny guy that he is, told me that I couldn't buy anymore books. This made me chuckle. I told him, "You needn't worry, I buy used." 

I Spend TOO Much Money on Stuff.

Looking back on my 2017, I've realized that I spend way too much money on "stuff" (a word I tell my students never to use in an essay). I'm not talking about the essentials like groceries, gas, car payment and utilities, I'm talking about all of the other things. Do I think that I'm a compulsive shopper? Maybe, that's why I'm trying to set some goals for myself. I have to STOP shopping. 

I was unemployed for 2 years and didn't shop at all. I wore clothes with holes and spent all the money that I had saved. Don't get me wrong, I have a savings now, but It doesn't have quite the amount that I would like or that I once had prior to my unfortunate circumstance (unemployment).  I learned at that time, that I didn't need "stuff" just because I wanted it. I really have to go back to that way of thinking. Just because I want something doesn't mean I need it.

Listed below are the things I spend my money on. I use my gift cards, but often times I go over the amount and have to spend some of my own money. 

1.  Makeup:  I'm obsessed with it. Days that I go without, my husband tells me I look beautiful. I know I don't wear it for him. I wear it for me. Putting on a face of makeup is very relaxing to me. It's like an art project, where you're painting a picture, in this case the picture is your face. 

2. Clothes: What girl doesn't like clothes? (and weights fluctuate, unfortunately).

3.  Shoes: See the comment from above.

4. Jewelry: Same sentiment as point #2

5. Purses: Same as above, BUT!!!! Once a year my husband go to Vegas. There is an outlet mall that we go to and  I usually hit up the Coach outlet store. I have one not to far from me. For some reason we never shop there.  In 2016, my husband and I went to Orlando and also went to the outlet mall there. I bought a bag, so when we traveled to Vegas in 2016, I didn't buy a thing. When we went to Vegas for the new year, I bought two.

6.  Books:  I love to read, but I have a backlog of books that would keep me entertained for the next five years. Many of my books (except those purchased at Barnes and Nobel with a gift card) are bought at used book stores or library book sales. 

7.  Movies: My husband and I got to the movies often. I love movies because I don't have to give them the long term commitment I would a television show. Don't get me wrong, I have a few shows I watch on regular T.V., I just prefer film. We know how expensive movies can be. 

8.  Coffee: I get Starbucks for free, It's a Grind I have to pay for. 

9.  Travel:  From this list, this is probably my favorite thing to do. An airplane ticket is very pricey, let alone two.

10: Entertainment other than movies: My husband and I like to do new things. This means tickets to Cirque de Soleil, concerts, musicals, plays, art exhibits, etc. These things cost money, but they're also giving us AMAZING experiences. This isn't considered "stuff", therefore these are the things that I will continue to spend my money on. 

For the month of January I implemented a "no buy zone", meaning that I am not buying anything other than food for the household. I will be shopping from my own stash. And as I write this, I realized that I did buy some shower gel and a blush from Flower Beauty. I also needed cotton balls, so I'm not sure if that counts. 

Moral of this lesson, I hated being unemployed, I really did, but I liked having a more simple life. 

A Raw Account of Being Unemployed (I can finally share my story).

Sometimes we all need a miracle.

I just recently (tonight) read an article about what the jobless do in their spare time. When I first started reading the article, I thought it was going to make me mad, but I was wrong, I actually liked it. Coming from being unemployed for over a year and a half, let me give you my take on the subject, because it's a subject I know all too well. At the end I'll post a link to the article called, For Jobless, More Sleep and TV, But Also More Unpaid Work, by Zachary Roth (I've heard of him before). This is a true and raw account of what it was like for me to be jobless.

In 2008 I quit my semi secure job as a teacher. I had been there for six years and as much as I loved it, it was time to move on. I was beginning a new chapter in my personal life and wanted to start a semi new adventure in my professional life as well. I say semi new because the career path that I decided to follow was the career path that I had right out of college, in Public Relations. Whether or not I'm good at it, has yet to be determined. Quitting my job at the school was the worst decision I could have made. As much as I was tired of being there, was ready to move on, and as much as I love my job now, I should have waited it out, but who would have known the economy was going to the pisser. I assured my loved ones that I would find a new job very quickly, because "who wouldn't want to hire me?" Let me also mention that I spent six years as a private school teacher and never paid into unemployment (a fact that I didn't know). Private schools don't pay into unemployment in order to keep their tax exemption status. I wouldn't have been able to collect unemployment at that point anyway, because I quit that job.

I got a position with a company in 2009. What company I worked for is irrelevant. It was no fault of theirs that the economy took a downturn into the toilet. On June 28, 2009 (Michael Jackson's death date) I, along with roughly 30 others, were let go from our jobs.

That first day I cried. I remember going to visit a friend, just to stop myself from crying. I had just spent six months applying to every position under the sun and I didn't want to do that again. I had family coming out visit that July so I decided to wait until after they left to really start looking. I received a severance package, so I was OK for a while. I didn't know that a while meant a year and a half.

When I got married in 2008, I started out with enough money in my bank account to buy a house or a condo. Thankfully my husband already owned a condo, so moving at that point was not an option. Due to the reduction in workforce (a fancy way of saying laid off) you would think that I could have collected unemployment, well I tried and learned that I would receive only 15 CENTS every two weeks, the cost of sending me that 15 cents was far more, so I declined. I NEVER COLLECTED UNEMPLOYMENT. The money I saved to put down on a house was what I used to survive.

I remember getting up every morning at 7:00 a.m. and watching the news, I didn't sleep until 9 or 10 in the morning. My job search started at 10, after the news, after taking my two dogs out to do their business, after feeding the dogs and eating breakfast myself. During those morning hours, I would also do one chore a day, in the house. I never watched TV, except for General Hospital at 2:00 and Oprah at 3:00. I did do some volunteer work, which made me feel good, but I couldn't drive anywhere because I didn't have money for gas.

I went on one job interview after another, some were wonderful and I would think "Hey I got this one, I can feel it!" (I even went on a few interviews with strep throat, you see my determination to work?) Some were so bad that I excused myself from the interview all together (MLM schemes and the horrible lady from City of Commerce). I started doing temp jobs and freelancing work on the side. By the way, freelance is just fancy term for, I can't get a job.

Unless someone is in your shoes (this is the same with many things) no one can understand what it feels like to be unemployed. It hurts the ego, it causes strain with loved ones, it makes you feel unworthy, always thinking, "what did I do so wrong in my life to deserve this?" I started going to a meet up group called the Irvine Job Club. I met many great people who I could relate to, because they were going through the same thing as me. Thursday's I would feel better (the group met on Thursday), I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then Monday would come along and I would spend eight hours a day looking for a job, going out on interviews or going to many job fairs (some useless and some very worth while).

I started drinking at night, first one glass, just to relax, then two, sometimes even three or four, because I needed it to get me through the night. Don't judge, I never had a day where I couldn't get out of bed because I had two much. I still like an occasional glass of wine some evenings, but I don't ever feel like I HAVE TO HAVE ONE, like I did when I was jobless.

I never wanted to go anywhere, because that would take time away from my job search. I stayed home and ended up gaining weight, but going to the gym was out of the question, because that was two hours of my day I could have spent looking for a job.

There were times when I became severely depressed and yes there were days that I couldn't even get out of bed. Being unemployed affected my new marriage. What should have been our "honeymoon" period, wasn't. I was frustrated with my husband, I was frustrated with myself, all I wanted was get my old life back, the life I had before I lost my job. Our marriage was fractured but not broken, to this very day we work at it.

Being unemployed hardened me. I look at people who spend money stupidly (some in my own family) and know that I'll never be like that. I will not take money or things for granted. I had to borrow money from my parents and that is the worst feeling ever, being 31/32 and having to rely on my family to take care of me. The very last thing that I wanted was for my husband to think I wasn't self sufficient. I didn't marry him so he could take care of me, I married him so we could take care of each other. At one point, towards the end, I couldn't contribute to the household anymore (I had previously paid the household bills, my personal bills and bought all the food in the house).

There were some days where I couldn't even function. Getting your hopes up after an interview and then being told, "you were one of our top three candidates, but we decided to choose someone else", does not make for a happy holiday season. It was after this that I stayed in bed for two weeks and cried every single day.

There's more to my story I know, I can't describe to you the feelings that I felt during this time. All I can say is that my family, all of my family, did what they could to help me and their generosity will never be forgotten.

I have a job now, even though that doesn't change the time I was without a job, it does give me hope that the future can be brighter. I'm slowly building up my savings again. I appreciate the fact that I'm working and will never take my job for granted, because you just never know.

Here's the link to the story that started it all: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/jobless-more-sleep-tv-more-unpaid-170225258.html

To quote American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher, Elbert Hubbard, We work to become, not to acquire.